- [Opening credits]
- [Scene: Outside Linden Court, George's hand is on a car.]
Janet: [walks outside]George you've been out here half an hour, come in.
George: I can't.
Janet: What d'you mean you can't?
George: Well you know i had to rescue that boat from the Arctic.
George: Yes, which meant i had to fly very low over the magnetic North Pole.
George: [turns to the car and lifts his hand, lifting the car with it.] I've become magnetic Janet.
Janet: That's ridiculous.
George: I know, sorry.
Janet: It's not even our car.
George: [puts the car down] I know.
Janet: What if he wants to use it?
George: He won't want to use it.
Janet: How do you know that?
George: Because i'd be stuck to his roof he'd look silly.
Janet: Yeah but supposing he does, how are you gonna stop him?
- [George is shocked to see Mr. Blake unlock the car.]
Janet: Ah, er morning Mr. Blake, you alright?
Mr. Blake: Yes thank you Mrs. Sun... [George's eyes glow, he uses his powers to make Mr. Blake have to go to the toilet.]
Janet: Well, can i get you anything while you're waiting? Some iron filings to play with?
- [George pushs down on the baby bump]
George: I wouldn't mind something to eat but no cutlery. [becomes nervous when he sees Tyler]'
Tyler: [walks outside] Hello master, [to Janet] mistress.
- [Janet is shocked.]
George: Oh no don't let him near me not with those earings.
Janet: Oh Tyler don't get to close.
Tyler: [walks to George in confusion] Whats the matter master? What... [Tyler is magnetised to George, making it look like they're kissing each other.]
- [They both struggle to get each other off.]
Janet: Perfect, well that's just perfect isn't it, right in full view of the neighbours.
George: [Gets his mouth off Tyler's to speak.] Tounge stuck! [Is magnetised back on Tyler].
Janet: Right, well if anyone wants me, i'll be, hiding.
- [Ella and Stanley arrive.]
Ella: Morning darling, morning... [sees George and Tyler] ... good lord.
Janet: Morning mum, dad, weather's turning a bit chilly don't you think? [turns to George and Tyler] Anyway, would either of you two be interested in, sponsoring, George and Tyler?
Janet: Yeah they're doing a sponsored, Snogathon. They have to keep kissing each other, to raise money for charity.
Stanley: In your driveway?
Janet: It's for help the aged.
Ella: It's not the aged who need help.
Janet: They've only just started so they'll be at it for hours. Would you like to, sponsor them?
Stanley: Well i...
Ella: [interrupts Stanley] No we would not, kindly remember this is Northolt Stanley, not Bangkok.
Stanley: More's the pity. [Mr. Blake comes back, Stanley touches his hat to greet him.] Good morning Mr. Blake.
Mr. Blake: Good morning Mr... [George makes him go to the toilet again.]
- [Ella and Stanley are shocked as Janet simply smiles at them.]
- [Scene: Northolt Health Centre, Janet is with Mrs. Raven at reception.]
Mrs. Raven: So, how much did you raise for Help the Aged?
Janet: Eight hundred and thirty pounds, once the local radio found out we had quite a crowd gathered. Would you like to give something?
Mrs. Raven: Why not.
Janet: That's nice.
Mrs. Raven: Because i'm mean that's why not.
- [A woman arrives and speaks to Mrs. Raven in sign language.]
Woman: [signing] Hello, i've come about the results for my blood test.
Mrs. Raven: [signing] Of course, they came in this morning.
Janet: I didn't know you could do sign language.
Mrs. Raven: One has to keep up in this job Janet. [to the woman] The results of the test were positive, you've got days to live.
- [The woman appears shocked and runs off.]
Janet: Oh dear, she didn't look very happy.
Mrs. Raven: I can't imagine why, i told her the result of her tests were negative and she's got years to live. Well, at least that's what i think i said, oh well never mind.
- [Piers and another man walk outside.]
Piers: Janet, Mrs. Raven, i'd like you to meet Hugo Blissett, a very special young man.
Mrs. Raven: Oh you've come out at last. That's ten quid you owe me Janet.
Piers: I have not come out, this young man, is my son.
- [Janet silently gasps.]
Piers: The son i never knew i had.
Janet: Oh Piers that's fantastic you must be thrilled.
Piers: I am thrilled beyond words.
Mrs. Raven: Well i feel very sorry for you.
Piers: Mrs. Raven just because you don't like Hugo...
Mrs. Raven: I was talking to Hugo.
Hugo: Actually i'm happy about it, now that i've found him at last. I see you tonight hey dad. [playful taps Piers with his fist]
Piers: Yeah, [does the same] see you tonight son.
- [Hugo leaves]
Piers: D'you know i knew he was my son the moment he walked into the surgery.
Janet: You could sense the bond between you.
Piers: No he had our matching DNA profiles with him. Such an emotional moment, i stared at the profiles, stared at him, i rang the clinic to check that they hadn't got the profiles muddled up, phoned a couple of professors to check the accuracy of DNA profiling.
Janet: While he was in the room?
Piers: Janet, this is the son i haven't seen for twenty years, i didn't want to send him away, he's very special to me.
Janet: Ah, and who's his mother?
Piers: Now he did mention her name, Mrs. Blissett i suppose.
Mrs. Raven: Oh i get it, this is the result of some drunken one night stand.
Piers: There was nothing tacky about our relationship.
Mrs. Raven: There's nothing tacky about one night stands i love 'em.
Piers: What happened was a beautiful act that brought a child into the world, she was a young woman, desperate for a baby and i was a young medical student happy to sell the where with all to make it possible.
Janet: Oh i see so you never actually?
Piers: Met? No. But it clearly proves i have a certain way with the women.
Janet: Is it?
Piers: Hugo shown me a photograph of his mother, she's a very beautiful woman. And it was uh, [tugs his tie] my sample she chose, need i say more. [Piers walks into his office and jumps in the air.]